12 years ago I had written these scripts for a local comedy show on Gayelle called Bacchanal.
Obviously with the passage of time and the likelihood that a short lived TV series of three/four episodes will ever come back on air - I have decided to share the two scripts I wrote with everyone.
As you can recall from previous blog posts, I'm totally obsessed with the TV series - 24. (as well as several other TV series)
This blog post is a two part series (the second part I'll publish at a later date). I had only written two complete scripts as well as I had a whole season planned out too.
Caveat - please note this is the first time I ever wrote a script and have not had formal training in such, please be gentle.
Disclaimer - obviously this is a spoof show, no offence is meant to anyone.
Script Name
24 minutes - "Revenge Of The Duck"
Written By Usayd Hamid
Characters taken from 24, Tomb Raider, Relic Hunter.
Location: Superpharm Valsayn car park.
Cast
Imtiaz Seepersad - Rakesh - Jack Spaniard - 24 name - Jack Bauer
Lead character.
Sits on the toilet for the entire episode.
Maurissa Maharaj - Sue - Audrey Spaniard - 24 name - Audrey Raines
Wife of Jack.
Nervously sits on bed & paces back and forth outside the toilet.
Artala Seepersad - Liz - Kim Spaniard - 24 name - Kimberly Bauer
Daughter of Jack.
Gets herself and Renee Singh in trouble with Tony Blair
Shalini Mahadeo - Priya - Renee Singh - 24 name - Renee Walker
Jack's sister in law enforcement - CTU
Tries to save Kim from Tony but is unsuccessful.
Amanda Ramroop - Rosita - Lara Fox
Cross between Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) & Sydney Fox (Relic Hunter)
Makes a grand entrance and saves the day.
Ajit Bolansingh - Kirpal - Tony Blair - 24 name - Tony Almeida
Friend of Jack who betrayed him in the past, over the manicou.
Spies on Kim & Renee buying medicine for Jack.
Wonders how to use this to his advantage.
Lakhan Lenny Mahabir - Sam - President Sam
President of all ducks.
Makes a speech to a flock of ducks dressed in suit and tie.
After normal Bacchanal opening.
Time clock beeping in 0:24
Rakesh - Previously on 24 minutes.
Flashback - Jack eating platefuls of curry duck on the river lime.
Rakesh - The following takes place between 8:00 p.m. & 8:24 p.m.
Events occur in real time.
Rakesh - I'm Jack Spaniard and these are the longest 24 minutes of my life.
At the bottom left and right of the screen, names of the cast members who are acting the parts.
Imtiaz Seepersad - Rakesh - AKA Jack Spaniard
Maurissa Maharaj - Sue - AKA Audrey Spaniard
Artala Seepersad - Liz - AKA Kim Spaniard
Shalini Mahadeo - Priya - AKA Renee Singh
Ajit Bolansingh - Kirpal - AKA Tony Blair
Lakhan Lenny Mahabir - Sam - AKA President Sam
Guest Starring
Amanda Ramroop - Rosita AKA Lara Fox
These names will appear on the screen briefly in the 1st scene.
Scene
Written By Usayd Hamid
Characters taken from 24, Tomb Raider, Relic Hunter.
Location: Superpharm Valsayn car park.
Cast
Imtiaz Seepersad - Rakesh - Jack Spaniard - 24 name - Jack Bauer
Lead character.
Sits on the toilet for the entire episode.
Maurissa Maharaj - Sue - Audrey Spaniard - 24 name - Audrey Raines
Wife of Jack.
Nervously sits on bed & paces back and forth outside the toilet.
Artala Seepersad - Liz - Kim Spaniard - 24 name - Kimberly Bauer
Daughter of Jack.
Gets herself and Renee Singh in trouble with Tony Blair
Shalini Mahadeo - Priya - Renee Singh - 24 name - Renee Walker
Jack's sister in law enforcement - CTU
Tries to save Kim from Tony but is unsuccessful.
Amanda Ramroop - Rosita - Lara Fox
Cross between Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) & Sydney Fox (Relic Hunter)
Makes a grand entrance and saves the day.
Ajit Bolansingh - Kirpal - Tony Blair - 24 name - Tony Almeida
Friend of Jack who betrayed him in the past, over the manicou.
Spies on Kim & Renee buying medicine for Jack.
Wonders how to use this to his advantage.
Lakhan Lenny Mahabir - Sam - President Sam
President of all ducks.
Makes a speech to a flock of ducks dressed in suit and tie.
After normal Bacchanal opening.
Time clock beeping in 0:24
Rakesh - Previously on 24 minutes.
Flashback - Jack eating platefuls of curry duck on the river lime.
Rakesh - The following takes place between 8:00 p.m. & 8:24 p.m.
Events occur in real time.
Rakesh - I'm Jack Spaniard and these are the longest 24 minutes of my life.
At the bottom left and right of the screen, names of the cast members who are acting the parts.
Imtiaz Seepersad - Rakesh - AKA Jack Spaniard
Maurissa Maharaj - Sue - AKA Audrey Spaniard
Artala Seepersad - Liz - AKA Kim Spaniard
Shalini Mahadeo - Priya - AKA Renee Singh
Ajit Bolansingh - Kirpal - AKA Tony Blair
Lakhan Lenny Mahabir - Sam - AKA President Sam
Guest Starring
Amanda Ramroop - Rosita AKA Lara Fox
These names will appear on the screen briefly in the 1st scene.
Scene
Jack & Audrey lying down in bed.
Lights are dim in their bedroom.
Jack moaning/ groaning/ tossing and turning.
Rakesh Why did I eat so much duck?
Sue I told you not to.
But do you ever listen to me?
Noooo…..
Rakesh Ahhhh….. meh belly hurting meh…..
Sue If only we still had dat mani-Q, you woulda never get indigestion so….
Rakesh What did I do to deserve you?
Manicou, you stupid woman, manicou….
Why you does torture me so?
I love curry duck so much I go drive from here to San Fernando & back, just for a plate of curry duck.
Sue You never did anything like that when we were dating.
So you saying that you love curry duck more than me?
Rakesh Ammmmm……
Scene Jack pretends the urge to go to the toilet has overtaken him and runs to the toilet and slams the door.
Upon entering he realises that it's worse than he thinks, and calls out to Audrey in agony.
Rakesh Audrey!!!! I luv you!!!
It burns, it burns….
I can't take it anymore…….
Sue Jack!
Are you all right?
Can I come in?
What can I do?
Rakesh Get Kim & Renee to go Superpharm, quick!!!
Get me something for dis pain!!!
Sue I don't have the phone with their numbers you have it.
Scene Jack pulls out his cell phone and calls Kim.
Kim in the car with Renee answers her phone.
Rakesh Kim, breathing painfully.
Liz Dad?
Is that you?
What's wrong?
Rakesh I don't have time to explain Kim.
Just listen to me.
Get me something for dis diarrhoea….
Liz From Superpharm?
Rakesh Yea, quick….
Liz Ok daddy. Ends the call.
Scene Jack bawls out in agony again.
Audrey pictured outside the door, wringing her hand and biting off her nails in worry.
Sue Oh gosh, I hope the meh ole boy would be alright, it sounding horrible in there.
The scene changes.
Scene Kim & Renee in a car driving to Superpharm.
Renee tells Kim the trouble she has with Tony.
Priya That Tony, drives me mad all de damn time,
He caused me and Jack so much trouble, always digging up we business, and telling everybody else it.
He cost CTU hundreds in money and time.
We could lock him up but Lara is a powerful friend to have.
Liz I know!!!
I have no idea what Lara sees in him.
Priya It beats me, but he does have a way of talking himself outta anything eh?
Liz That's true, when we caught him today with the manicou, he rehl sweet talk his way out ah that.
Priya I hope Jack will be alright, and somebody at Superpharm go know what to get him.
Liz I thought you is a doctor?
Eh girl?
You should know what to get him.
Priya Doctor?
I only do that because of this fella who was in UWI with me.
Those nights, oh those wonderful nights.
Oh crap I said too much….
Liz I gonna tell my daddy about what his sister did, you gonna get into sooo much trouble.
On screen Meanwhile
Scene President Sam, dressed in suit and tie & boxer shorts giving a speech in front of a flock of ducks.
A bit tipsy from drinking too much in the Caura River Lime.
Hanging on to a pole by one hand.
Sam Ladies and gentlemen.
I refuse to let this go on any longer.
We will catch the culprit who decimated our population.
And he shall be brought to justice.
For eating too much curry duck, Jack Spaniard, that criminal will be put in jail.
Scene Close up shot of the ducks.
Sam This I promise you!!!.
I know you all elected me President for a reason,
and I will definitely come through on my campaign promises, that one duck is meant for one person!!!.
Jack should not be allowed to eat so many of our friends anymore!!!
Scene Cheering in the background and President Sam looking pleased with himself.
Scene Kim & Renee outside Superpharm by their car after getting the medicine.
Tony nearby hears them discussing the diarrhoea and pulls out a small handheld water gun.
Kirpal I wanna know who that medicine is for, or else.
Does a threatening gesture with a water gun.
Liz Tony, I fed up of your ways.
Put down that water-gun or else I'll scream
Kirpal Never!
I want to know who that medicine is for.
Liz You asked for it.
Help!!!
Scene Renee tries to pull out her own water gun.
Gets soaked for her trouble.
And Tony manages to take it from her.
He has them backed up against their car.
Unnoticed to Tony, Kim texts Jack
Daddy come save me, Tony has us at water gun point and want to know all your business.
All my make-up would run.
Scene Jack, still in agony on the toilet gets the text message
And tries calling 5 people, but only gets a busy tone.
Rakesh What to do?
Damn it.
I guess I'll have to call Lara.
Oh gawd, (wipes face)
She go want me to cook lunch for she for months for this favour.
And wash she clothes, clean her place, gawd…..
Scene Audrey still pictured outside the door, wringing her hand and biting off her nails in worry.
Scene Jack dials Lara's number.
Shot of Lara's mouth when she answers the phone.
Rosita Hello?
Rakesh Lara?
It's Jack.
Rosita Jack!
How things ole boi?
Rakesh I need some help girl.
Rosita Eh heh, what's new?
You always need some kinda help eh?
Rakesh Kim is in Superpharm and Tony is at it again.
Rosita Again?
That boy, I go deal with him, always getting himself in trouble, minding everybody business.
A rehl true mako.
Rakesh Yea.
Rosita But you owe me for this, I was in the middle of polishing my car.
(Have to be a rehl besss car for this scene)
Rakesh Anything, anything, just go and help Kim.
Scene Lara ends the call and accidentally drops the phone, by her feet.
As she picks it up.
The Xena opening theme music starts playing.
(the same part as when the camera shot is going up Xena's body in Xena)
As the camera shot travels up her body and then pans out to show Lara wearing a full Tombraider outfit.
Scene Shot of Lara pulling up in front of Superpharm with a squeal of brakes.
She only has to drive a couple blocks.
Lara gets out of the car.
And pulls out a huge water gun.
Throws a water balloon, splashing Tony, who screams like a girl.
Kirpal Ahhh!!! Freezing Cold!!!!
Scene Then Lara sprays down Tony from head to toe with the water gun.
Rosita Give up Tony!
Let Renee & Kim go!
Scene Tony agrees, all the while crying out to stop torturing me.
Kirpal Stop wetting me!!!
They can go, they can go!!!
Scene Kim & Renee get in their car and drive home.
Where they hand the medicine to Audrey to give to Jack.
Jack meanwhile is still suffering on the toilet and drinks half the bottle of Kaopectate
and gets instant relief.
Scene Lara kneels by Tony asking him,
Rosita Why Tony?
For the hundredth time why?
Why do you have to be so?
Kirpal It's in meh nature, gyul.
Ah can't help it.
Gimme a kiss to make it all better.
Rosita A kiss?
Kiss a sorry looking mess like you?
For you to get some tender, loving care (tlc), you'll have to do more than that.
Scene Tony starts doing push-up's in the hope of getting some attention.
Lara kneels by Tony looking on, with a bemused expression on her face.
Rosita Hopeless, hopeless.
Scene When he reaches five (struggling) Lara pushes Tony to the ground where he falls into some water.
Rosita Goodnight Tony.
Scene Lara gets up and walks to her car, where she drives off.
Scene Sitting down by the table, Jack, Audrey, Kim, Renee, reflect on what happened in the last 24 minutes.
When Kim asks.
Liz Did anyone see Sam recently?
Scene President Sam running down the road still dressed in suit and tie and boxer shorts,
being chased by an old woman with a broom who is shouting,
Old woman What de so and so, drunken old fool, doing disturbing my ducks? (some bleeped curse words would be useful here)
Take that! And that! And that!
(Hitting him several times with the broom.)
Time clock beeping into 0:24 The last few seconds before the 24th minute reaches.
Lights are dim in their bedroom.
Jack moaning/ groaning/ tossing and turning.
Rakesh Why did I eat so much duck?
Sue I told you not to.
But do you ever listen to me?
Noooo…..
Rakesh Ahhhh….. meh belly hurting meh…..
Sue If only we still had dat mani-Q, you woulda never get indigestion so….
Rakesh What did I do to deserve you?
Manicou, you stupid woman, manicou….
Why you does torture me so?
I love curry duck so much I go drive from here to San Fernando & back, just for a plate of curry duck.
Sue You never did anything like that when we were dating.
So you saying that you love curry duck more than me?
Rakesh Ammmmm……
Scene Jack pretends the urge to go to the toilet has overtaken him and runs to the toilet and slams the door.
Upon entering he realises that it's worse than he thinks, and calls out to Audrey in agony.
Rakesh Audrey!!!! I luv you!!!
It burns, it burns….
I can't take it anymore…….
Sue Jack!
Are you all right?
Can I come in?
What can I do?
Rakesh Get Kim & Renee to go Superpharm, quick!!!
Get me something for dis pain!!!
Sue I don't have the phone with their numbers you have it.
Scene Jack pulls out his cell phone and calls Kim.
Kim in the car with Renee answers her phone.
Rakesh Kim, breathing painfully.
Liz Dad?
Is that you?
What's wrong?
Rakesh I don't have time to explain Kim.
Just listen to me.
Get me something for dis diarrhoea….
Liz From Superpharm?
Rakesh Yea, quick….
Liz Ok daddy. Ends the call.
Scene Jack bawls out in agony again.
Audrey pictured outside the door, wringing her hand and biting off her nails in worry.
Sue Oh gosh, I hope the meh ole boy would be alright, it sounding horrible in there.
The scene changes.
Scene Kim & Renee in a car driving to Superpharm.
Renee tells Kim the trouble she has with Tony.
Priya That Tony, drives me mad all de damn time,
He caused me and Jack so much trouble, always digging up we business, and telling everybody else it.
He cost CTU hundreds in money and time.
We could lock him up but Lara is a powerful friend to have.
Liz I know!!!
I have no idea what Lara sees in him.
Priya It beats me, but he does have a way of talking himself outta anything eh?
Liz That's true, when we caught him today with the manicou, he rehl sweet talk his way out ah that.
Priya I hope Jack will be alright, and somebody at Superpharm go know what to get him.
Liz I thought you is a doctor?
Eh girl?
You should know what to get him.
Priya Doctor?
I only do that because of this fella who was in UWI with me.
Those nights, oh those wonderful nights.
Oh crap I said too much….
Liz I gonna tell my daddy about what his sister did, you gonna get into sooo much trouble.
On screen Meanwhile
Scene President Sam, dressed in suit and tie & boxer shorts giving a speech in front of a flock of ducks.
A bit tipsy from drinking too much in the Caura River Lime.
Hanging on to a pole by one hand.
Sam Ladies and gentlemen.
I refuse to let this go on any longer.
We will catch the culprit who decimated our population.
And he shall be brought to justice.
For eating too much curry duck, Jack Spaniard, that criminal will be put in jail.
Scene Close up shot of the ducks.
Sam This I promise you!!!.
I know you all elected me President for a reason,
and I will definitely come through on my campaign promises, that one duck is meant for one person!!!.
Jack should not be allowed to eat so many of our friends anymore!!!
Scene Cheering in the background and President Sam looking pleased with himself.
Scene Kim & Renee outside Superpharm by their car after getting the medicine.
Tony nearby hears them discussing the diarrhoea and pulls out a small handheld water gun.
Kirpal I wanna know who that medicine is for, or else.
Does a threatening gesture with a water gun.
Liz Tony, I fed up of your ways.
Put down that water-gun or else I'll scream
Kirpal Never!
I want to know who that medicine is for.
Liz You asked for it.
Help!!!
Scene Renee tries to pull out her own water gun.
Gets soaked for her trouble.
And Tony manages to take it from her.
He has them backed up against their car.
Unnoticed to Tony, Kim texts Jack
Daddy come save me, Tony has us at water gun point and want to know all your business.
All my make-up would run.
Scene Jack, still in agony on the toilet gets the text message
And tries calling 5 people, but only gets a busy tone.
Rakesh What to do?
Damn it.
I guess I'll have to call Lara.
Oh gawd, (wipes face)
She go want me to cook lunch for she for months for this favour.
And wash she clothes, clean her place, gawd…..
Scene Audrey still pictured outside the door, wringing her hand and biting off her nails in worry.
Scene Jack dials Lara's number.
Shot of Lara's mouth when she answers the phone.
Rosita Hello?
Rakesh Lara?
It's Jack.
Rosita Jack!
How things ole boi?
Rakesh I need some help girl.
Rosita Eh heh, what's new?
You always need some kinda help eh?
Rakesh Kim is in Superpharm and Tony is at it again.
Rosita Again?
That boy, I go deal with him, always getting himself in trouble, minding everybody business.
A rehl true mako.
Rakesh Yea.
Rosita But you owe me for this, I was in the middle of polishing my car.
(Have to be a rehl besss car for this scene)
Rakesh Anything, anything, just go and help Kim.
Scene Lara ends the call and accidentally drops the phone, by her feet.
As she picks it up.
The Xena opening theme music starts playing.
(the same part as when the camera shot is going up Xena's body in Xena)
As the camera shot travels up her body and then pans out to show Lara wearing a full Tombraider outfit.
Scene Shot of Lara pulling up in front of Superpharm with a squeal of brakes.
She only has to drive a couple blocks.
Lara gets out of the car.
And pulls out a huge water gun.
Throws a water balloon, splashing Tony, who screams like a girl.
Kirpal Ahhh!!! Freezing Cold!!!!
Scene Then Lara sprays down Tony from head to toe with the water gun.
Rosita Give up Tony!
Let Renee & Kim go!
Scene Tony agrees, all the while crying out to stop torturing me.
Kirpal Stop wetting me!!!
They can go, they can go!!!
Scene Kim & Renee get in their car and drive home.
Where they hand the medicine to Audrey to give to Jack.
Jack meanwhile is still suffering on the toilet and drinks half the bottle of Kaopectate
and gets instant relief.
Scene Lara kneels by Tony asking him,
Rosita Why Tony?
For the hundredth time why?
Why do you have to be so?
Kirpal It's in meh nature, gyul.
Ah can't help it.
Gimme a kiss to make it all better.
Rosita A kiss?
Kiss a sorry looking mess like you?
For you to get some tender, loving care (tlc), you'll have to do more than that.
Scene Tony starts doing push-up's in the hope of getting some attention.
Lara kneels by Tony looking on, with a bemused expression on her face.
Rosita Hopeless, hopeless.
Scene When he reaches five (struggling) Lara pushes Tony to the ground where he falls into some water.
Rosita Goodnight Tony.
Scene Lara gets up and walks to her car, where she drives off.
Scene Sitting down by the table, Jack, Audrey, Kim, Renee, reflect on what happened in the last 24 minutes.
When Kim asks.
Liz Did anyone see Sam recently?
Scene President Sam running down the road still dressed in suit and tie and boxer shorts,
being chased by an old woman with a broom who is shouting,
Old woman What de so and so, drunken old fool, doing disturbing my ducks? (some bleeped curse words would be useful here)
Take that! And that! And that!
(Hitting him several times with the broom.)
Time clock beeping into 0:24 The last few seconds before the 24th minute reaches.
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